Remotivate, Relax, Relapse

It has been way too long since I posted, and for that, I sincerely apologize! My lack of posting is only a sign of my increased workload in school and not a disinterest in posting. I am running on residual testing-fuel (caffeine) and thought I would give an update.

By the way, I changed the comment setting so COMMENT if you tried before and couldn't!

Since the last post, the Secret Society of Study Stuff has contributed a biochemistry test packet, an anatomy test packet, and a histology test packet. We have had overwhelmingly positive feedback on the packets and major compliments to everyone that contributed. We also learned that we have a ton to work on in order to make the "packet assembly" more effecient and less stressful. By the time we sent out the third (histology) packet, we were feeling pretty good about efficiency and stress levels were low. Consequently, stress levels were so good, at least for me, that I got my very first 100% on a test! Now that may sound like bragging, so let me explain the significance.

I have NEVER received a 100% on any significant test in medical school OR undergrad! I always figure out a way to miss one or, on average, two. I thought I was cursed. But the evil curse was lifted and I dominated the Histology test! I had a Biochem test this morning, arguably the most complex/clinically applicable/time consuming test that I have had yet. I felt great, but the 100% is 100% not possible on this one. But at least I know the curse can't be permanent!

I have been very distracted lately. Not in the "I wish I could play video games with my brother and friends" but in the "what am I going to specialize in?" and "what am I going to do now to better my chances at the best residencies for that specialty?" I borrowed a book from a classmate of mine that helps med students self-analyze and assess their own personalities in comparison to the personalities/job-descriptions of almost every specialty out there. It is an awesome book that made me excited and made me scared half to death! I have no idea what I want to do!

I am immediately drawn to surgery. Mostly, because it is very outcome oriented (fast results) and not a whole lot of long-term patient relationship stuff. I won't be caring for people from cradle to grave, which doesn't sound interesting enough, but rather I will be meeting new people all the time and I won't have to keep up with them over a long period of time. I read some specialty descriptions and most were not surprising, i.e. Orthopedic Surgery, ENT Surgical, and Plastic Surgery were all obviously attractive to me. The scariest one, the one that is keeping me up at night, is Neurosurgery.

I always joked that if I really didn't want to have a family, I would go into Neurosurgery. The frightening reality is that when I read the Neurosurgery description (about 8 pages of stuff) I felt like I was reading a letter sent just to me. Even now, I feel awkward writing that Neurosurgery might end up being my specialty. Neurosurgery is for geniuses ("It's not Rocket Science/Brain Surgery"). I am absolutely NOT a genius. I'm an average med student with a super goofy personality with an outrageous imagination that can take over from time to time. But there have been few times in my life where I felt like something (someone) was speaking to me from within my soul.

I can't get it out of my head now. There is a lot to be experienced before Neurosurgery becomes a valid option, i.e. neuroscience I, II, III, IV, but I have to make it a priority to find out if that particular specialty is right for me. It's a tough one to match into for residency so my preparation has to start NOW to give me any sort of a decent CV.

Besides that, I have finally reached a rest phase from tests! I only have an "easy" test on Monday and only two quizzes this week! I won't have another test until next Monday! Which sounds like it is not a break but a Friday without a test is going to make Thursday feel like Christmas Eve!

I have also been struggling with the osteopathic side of my medical education. I went into school with a ton of enthusiasm and faith in osteopathic theory and practices. The theory and principles are easy for me to love, the practices were proving difficult to LIKE. That all changed yesterday during a Founder's Day lecture (founder = AT Still, the founder of Osteopathy, founder of my school). Ever heard of tensegrity? Well, i hadn't either. But you want to know who has heard about tensegrity? Some of the boys at Harvard (they came up with it), top of their fields mechanical engineers, and everyone that sees the tensegrity example on the mall of Washington DC (needle tower).

To shorten the hour long lecture in a few sentences, tensegrity, applied to biology by an MD, PhD Pathophysiologist at Harvard Medical School, is the physics, biology, and chemistry behind some things that A.T. Still tried to describe around 100 years ago. Before yesterday, I was still under the impression that the only way to think about our skeleton is that it is a frame for muscles and helps us do things in response to gravity. Now, the spine and everything attached to it becomes a beautiful, intricate balance of tensile forces that essentially defies gravity rather than just simple adapting to it. One of the most important principles of osteopathy is that the human body is a unit that constantly works to maintain homeostasis or balance. Any part of that system that takes a beating, the whole unit will react, and adapt to the change. A key osteopathic practice is the treatment of somatic (body wall or musculoskeletal) dysfunction can directly prevent disease and dysfunction of the body's organs and tissues. It all seemed pretty hokey to think that realigning someone's back or working out the knots of muscles could help lower risks of cancer, diabetes and other diseases. But the Harvard crew has an extremely detailed and convincing hypothesis as to how our genes might even be activated to change things in the body simply by moving things around everywhere else in the body, i.e. realigning the spine. SO AMAZING!

To think that it would be an MD, PhD from Harvard that might be doing the scientific research that proves that D.O.'s receive training that every doctor needs to have to be most effective.

So longest post ever! Sorry. I'll be done now. Caffeine is pretty much metabolized and I'm getting tired!