Day 1: Seriously???

So I thought it more than appropriate to report on the first day of the 1,000 + days that I'll be in med school. That first day was today. I shall now report.

I showed up one minute late and the entire classroom was busting at the seams with eager med students, eager third year med students, some faculty and a few members of the administration. I was forced to sit in the back. I hate sitting in the back of the class! It was apparent to me during my undergraduate studies that a direct result of me sitting in the back was laziness (usually nap time), restless leg syndrome, and texting. Needless to say, I was really calling on the higher powers to help me pay attention to the third welcome speech/ slide show I have had in the last four days. Sheesh! I feel welcome for cryin out loud!!

The "welcome" was mainly the history of osteopathy and a plug for A.T. Stills, the founder of my school and the master-mind behind osteopathy as a compliment to medical practices of his time. He was an amazing man and way ahead of his time. A major reason that I'm so stoked to be educated and trained as a D.O. is the philosophy that a physician ought to treat the patient and not the disease in order to heal for life. Basically, not being satisfied to simply mask and manage pain and discomfort, but rather provide a pathway for the body to heal itself and return itself to equilibrium. This is a spreading philosophy among M.D. institutions and many other health professions. Our bodies are totally amazing and we owe it respect!

After the history lesson, the proverbial poop hit the fan. As the brilliant biochemist, all-bright research scholar, fired away about acid-base mechanics and solution terminology, I was horrified. I can't believe how rusty the chemistry and organic chemistry have become while sitting in my little wrinkled brain. Looks like I already found the 1st quarter course that will punch me in the epididymas.

After the rousing BioChem lecture, we had a... yes, another free lunch! I haven't had this many free meals since being a missionary! It's all part of some plan to fatten us up before we completely destroy our bodies with energy drinks, lack of sleep, and study snacks. They are doctors for heaven's sake!

After lunch, things became even uglier. For those who don't know me really well, I am a self-proclaimed "recreational philosopher" who would have majored in philosophy and ethics had I wanted to start med school after my thirtieth birthday. We had a small presentation about the evolution of ethics and morality in a person as they become more educated and age. Then we had a comparison made between physicians, by specialty, on how they score on morality tests during and after med school. Orthopaedic Surgery Residents scored the highest and internal medicine folks scored. Nobody has any idea why. So why share the info??? Then the worst thing happened. We were given a standardized test that was going to score our moral compass, I think. See, that was the problem, there was no mention of anything beyond, "read these situations and rate the 12 issues as either of great importance, more importance, some importance, little importance, or not valid." As someone who takes the ethics and morals of people pretty seriously, I was flabbergasted as people were done with this test in a matter of minutes! Was anyone considering all points of view? Was anyone asking themselves about slippery slopes or universality of their choices? I doubt it. Was it super confusing as to how to rate the issues? Yes. Where the issues vague and poorly worded? I thought so. I just got worried that the ethical and moral issues weren't going to be addressed in med school as I would hope for. I'm probably being way too nuts about this but it got me warmed up for the final activity of the day.

We ended our first day in one of the most strangely performed patient simulator experience that I could have imagined. It was like a predictable movie. Our group of ten students, called our society, was divided into two groups and we stood awaiting instructions outside two patient simulator rooms. We were handed a clip board with the patient/situation information for us to read aloud. The smug second year student was dripping with snooty-ness as he clearly knew something we didn't. After finishing the reading we were pushed into the room and there were two attending physicians standing over the rubber body of the patient. The only thing they said was, "What do you do now?"

Taking all things into consideration, our first year of med school is infinitely better that KCOM is exposing us to clinical situations from our first day rather than wait till our third year rotations. Patch Adams would love this school! But what the heck does a first year med student know on their first day? One of the guys in my group was a music major. What on earth was he going to know?? !!! I know they weren't expecting much but our group had a pretty cool couple of attendings and they made the experience a very educational one. What got me all riled up was what happened in the debriefing meeting afterwards.

The other students in our society asked us if our patient lived or died. We had no idea how to answer because as we progressed through the methods of diagnosing the plastic man and then worked out treatment options for him, we were called out for the debriefing. They were a little unnerved at the fact that their synthetic patient bit the dust (some one turned him off). They didn't seem very "educated". During the debriefing we analyzed what we could have done better. Of course, being the smart-ass/sarcastic person that I am, I wanted to say that being doctors would have been super helpful. But it was good to look back and see how much stuff I have learned in undergraduate, scouting, and even lifeguarding that helped me so pretty well in the simulator. I just think they should have prepped us better to role play. How can I answer the question, "How does he look?" when all I see is a very unconscious rubber man on a hospital bed? My only answer was, "He looks like he may need to be rebooted." It got a laugh, mind you, but I want to be a serious doctor, not a class clown. But it is impossible to be serious when they play the "look how little you know you little med students" game. I'm in school to learn this stuff. Surprise!! I imagined trying to make fun of Bostyn when she starts learning to read. "HA HA! See how you can't read now! Bet your excited to learn so you don't ever have to feel like an idiot ever again!" I'd put the other groups experience on the "ineffective" list.

Never the less, I am even more excited to get things going in school. I talk pessimistically but I hide the much more prevalent optimism cause you already know that I'm excited!!! I've been waiting to be a doctor for as long as I can remember! I just like to be a critic.

I just filled out my seventh freaking survey and I'm going to bed! I finally get to wear normal (non-suit and tie) clothes tomorrow. I'm totally wearing a wife-beater and some jean cut-offs tomorrow. See if they ask me any questions then! Laters.