My First Patient

So day 2 became the most surprising yet. We had our intro to anatomy and dissection today (among a few other classes). I'm feeling pretty confident that I will enjoy anatomy and score well enough to distribute my stress among the other classes that I have this quarter. The anatomy intro was pretty straight forward and was mainly a syllabus breakdown. The Dissection intro was what caught me off guard.

It started as a brief history of human and animal dissection. Human dissection has been a wild ride over the past 500 years (pretty much 1000 years). The history was interesting and I doodled the whole time so I felt like I was back in school again. Then things took a different direction. A professor stood up and gave a lecture on the emotional and spiritual side of human dissection for the purpose of medical training. He had an awesome European accent (possibly German) and he had my attention immediately.

I anticipated the lecture on respecting the bodies of the people that donated themselves for our educational purposes. It is a very necessary and helpful discussion that I have has before while in human anatomy in my undergrad. So I wasn't expecting anything too different. I could not have been more wrong.

He began very straight forward about the privilege of having the cadavers as students and how being respectful of them was so important. He then described how the cadaver is, in a special way, our first patient. We owe the person's body all of the respect, care, and attention that we would want to give all of our future patients. He read a poem written by a medical student that described the emotional and intellectual battle that goes on as a med student learns from the cadaver. How one minute you are making the cold and scientific assessments of the body and its condition, but then consider the person's story. Did she have a family? What was his legacy?

My doodling had stopped completely by then. He had me. He delivered the next part so perfectly that it changed me forever. I was contemplating how great it is to think of the cadaver as your first patient when the professor added something more than just "great". To show us what the cadavers really should mean to us, he read a card that was sent to our school. It was sent by the family of one of the people that had donated their body to the students here. The card was a 3x5 card with short messages from a spouse, children, grandchildren and friends. "Please take good care of my blue-eyed soul mate", "It is our hope that one of your students can find a cure to that cruel disease: cancer", "We love you for the profession that you have chosen", "Please take care of my grandpa".

I couldn't look at the card after he began to read. I tried desperately to return to the safety of my doodling. I could hear tell-tale sniffs all around me. I fought harder than I have in a long time to not get choked up. It was in that moment that the cadaver that I was going to be dissecting over the next six months became a person who was giving me a selfless gift. Every person that I treat will owe the donor of that cadaver for helping me, a brand new student doctor, learn about the amazing human body.

The professor also included a thought from a movie that was made decades ago, starring Carey Grant. He played a doctor who was followed around by the spirit of his cadaver from medical school. While he treated his patients, the spirit would remind him of things he had learned from the body. I pondered that idea.

The students were all sent to the anatomy lab to then meet our cadaver. Four people to a cadaver. We walked across the campus to the building and climbed the stairs. It was a much more reserved crowd. Not solemn but reserved. I found my designated table and body. Another member of my team and I unzipped the bag and unveiled our first patient. Out of respect for my first and perhaps my most important patient, I will not share further details about her. Before we covered her back up, my partner had stepped away for a moment and with foggy vision I thanked her for being the one that would teach me. For being the one that would make me a better doctor. For being my first patient.

Now, while nobody is watching, I can let a few of those tears loose. It was a deeply moving and powerfully spiritual thing for me. I touched her skin and pictured her, looking on from a better place, pleased that she will be giving us such a priceless gift. It will be an honor to learn from her. I will be eternally grateful to her. She is... my first and most special patient.

Day 1: Seriously???

So I thought it more than appropriate to report on the first day of the 1,000 + days that I'll be in med school. That first day was today. I shall now report.

I showed up one minute late and the entire classroom was busting at the seams with eager med students, eager third year med students, some faculty and a few members of the administration. I was forced to sit in the back. I hate sitting in the back of the class! It was apparent to me during my undergraduate studies that a direct result of me sitting in the back was laziness (usually nap time), restless leg syndrome, and texting. Needless to say, I was really calling on the higher powers to help me pay attention to the third welcome speech/ slide show I have had in the last four days. Sheesh! I feel welcome for cryin out loud!!

The "welcome" was mainly the history of osteopathy and a plug for A.T. Stills, the founder of my school and the master-mind behind osteopathy as a compliment to medical practices of his time. He was an amazing man and way ahead of his time. A major reason that I'm so stoked to be educated and trained as a D.O. is the philosophy that a physician ought to treat the patient and not the disease in order to heal for life. Basically, not being satisfied to simply mask and manage pain and discomfort, but rather provide a pathway for the body to heal itself and return itself to equilibrium. This is a spreading philosophy among M.D. institutions and many other health professions. Our bodies are totally amazing and we owe it respect!

After the history lesson, the proverbial poop hit the fan. As the brilliant biochemist, all-bright research scholar, fired away about acid-base mechanics and solution terminology, I was horrified. I can't believe how rusty the chemistry and organic chemistry have become while sitting in my little wrinkled brain. Looks like I already found the 1st quarter course that will punch me in the epididymas.

After the rousing BioChem lecture, we had a... yes, another free lunch! I haven't had this many free meals since being a missionary! It's all part of some plan to fatten us up before we completely destroy our bodies with energy drinks, lack of sleep, and study snacks. They are doctors for heaven's sake!

After lunch, things became even uglier. For those who don't know me really well, I am a self-proclaimed "recreational philosopher" who would have majored in philosophy and ethics had I wanted to start med school after my thirtieth birthday. We had a small presentation about the evolution of ethics and morality in a person as they become more educated and age. Then we had a comparison made between physicians, by specialty, on how they score on morality tests during and after med school. Orthopaedic Surgery Residents scored the highest and internal medicine folks scored. Nobody has any idea why. So why share the info??? Then the worst thing happened. We were given a standardized test that was going to score our moral compass, I think. See, that was the problem, there was no mention of anything beyond, "read these situations and rate the 12 issues as either of great importance, more importance, some importance, little importance, or not valid." As someone who takes the ethics and morals of people pretty seriously, I was flabbergasted as people were done with this test in a matter of minutes! Was anyone considering all points of view? Was anyone asking themselves about slippery slopes or universality of their choices? I doubt it. Was it super confusing as to how to rate the issues? Yes. Where the issues vague and poorly worded? I thought so. I just got worried that the ethical and moral issues weren't going to be addressed in med school as I would hope for. I'm probably being way too nuts about this but it got me warmed up for the final activity of the day.

We ended our first day in one of the most strangely performed patient simulator experience that I could have imagined. It was like a predictable movie. Our group of ten students, called our society, was divided into two groups and we stood awaiting instructions outside two patient simulator rooms. We were handed a clip board with the patient/situation information for us to read aloud. The smug second year student was dripping with snooty-ness as he clearly knew something we didn't. After finishing the reading we were pushed into the room and there were two attending physicians standing over the rubber body of the patient. The only thing they said was, "What do you do now?"

Taking all things into consideration, our first year of med school is infinitely better that KCOM is exposing us to clinical situations from our first day rather than wait till our third year rotations. Patch Adams would love this school! But what the heck does a first year med student know on their first day? One of the guys in my group was a music major. What on earth was he going to know?? !!! I know they weren't expecting much but our group had a pretty cool couple of attendings and they made the experience a very educational one. What got me all riled up was what happened in the debriefing meeting afterwards.

The other students in our society asked us if our patient lived or died. We had no idea how to answer because as we progressed through the methods of diagnosing the plastic man and then worked out treatment options for him, we were called out for the debriefing. They were a little unnerved at the fact that their synthetic patient bit the dust (some one turned him off). They didn't seem very "educated". During the debriefing we analyzed what we could have done better. Of course, being the smart-ass/sarcastic person that I am, I wanted to say that being doctors would have been super helpful. But it was good to look back and see how much stuff I have learned in undergraduate, scouting, and even lifeguarding that helped me so pretty well in the simulator. I just think they should have prepped us better to role play. How can I answer the question, "How does he look?" when all I see is a very unconscious rubber man on a hospital bed? My only answer was, "He looks like he may need to be rebooted." It got a laugh, mind you, but I want to be a serious doctor, not a class clown. But it is impossible to be serious when they play the "look how little you know you little med students" game. I'm in school to learn this stuff. Surprise!! I imagined trying to make fun of Bostyn when she starts learning to read. "HA HA! See how you can't read now! Bet your excited to learn so you don't ever have to feel like an idiot ever again!" I'd put the other groups experience on the "ineffective" list.

Never the less, I am even more excited to get things going in school. I talk pessimistically but I hide the much more prevalent optimism cause you already know that I'm excited!!! I've been waiting to be a doctor for as long as I can remember! I just like to be a critic.

I just filled out my seventh freaking survey and I'm going to bed! I finally get to wear normal (non-suit and tie) clothes tomorrow. I'm totally wearing a wife-beater and some jean cut-offs tomorrow. See if they ask me any questions then! Laters.

Some Pics!

Here is a small taste of the white coat ceremony. I need to lose some hair or go grey to be a respectable doctor. I pray for the latter. :)

I dawn the mystical jacket of healing.

A beautiful but tiny woman meets me outside to congratulate the student doctor.

Another beautiful woman joins her.

I am surrounded by some other people that happened to be there too.

This was the scoreboard in the gym where we had the post-ceremonial picnic. Class of 2013, 172 students in the class, 1st year. Neato!

Intro

Much to my disappointment, the tragedy of forgetting both the username and password that was associated with my other blog has lead to my adoption of this replacement. The bright side is that instead of just letting everyone see the twisted mind of me, they get to see the mind get even twistier as medical school invades my life. Brace yourselves.

Orientation: Days 1 & 2

I have been somewhat of a nervous wreck this weekend. I'm not really the nervous type but the stomach was doing back-flips starting late Thursday night before my first orientation experience. I know what you are thinking, "how does someone get all worked up over something like a simple orientation?" I have no answers for you. I have no idea why I was nervous, just that I was. As if I half expected there to be some sort of test to fail or a moment of embarrassment that I might face. Thankfully, I was neither embarrassed or tested in any way. I was, however, challenged by the act of sitting properly for my school photo. I blame glamor shots. They always let me pose however I wanted.

I was able to make awkward conversation with several people whose names I will have to request again when I see them next for awkward conversation two. I love making friends but I hate getting to know them first. The whole process is exhausting and it makes me grateful to be married and not have to date ever again. Making friends is slow and I am somewhat impatient. The result is my preference to be really goofy, loud, and, at times, inappropriate to get those "blind date" jitters out. I throw the reserved first impression right out and display the thirtieth impression instead. I hope it worked!

We received a whole doctor's office for our parting gifts (that I paid for). It came with a stethoscope, sphygmomanometer, and other stuff that you weren't supposed to touch in the exam rooms while waiting for the doctor. Totally awesome. It felt a little like a creepy Christmas or birthday but I enjoyed it all the same.

Today was the best part; we had the white coat ceremony! That was an amazing experience that I will never forget. I felt like I had my ancestors that has come before me standing there, cheering me on to complete a dream that many of them had or fulfilled themselves. The pomp and circumstance of the affair was enough to make me smile from ear to ear as I walked down the aisle to the sounds of trumpets and loud, boisterous music. It was like we had slain a dragon, or fought a war and were returning home. The journey here was tough and the whole experience today made me reflect on how I ended up here in Kirksville. Simply put, I am convinced that I am exactly where I am supposed to be!

We had a huge picnic afterwards with all of the families and faculty. Then we split up, families to one room, students to the other. This is when orientation took an unexpected turn. It was as much a celebration for the second year class as it is for the first year class. The second year class ran the show, and by show I mean an actual show. From the opening song/skit to the 15 minute presentation on the tradition of the Osteo-stache, a mustache that is grown between the first and second years of med school. It is a right of passage and I will have to keep with tradition. Sorry, Ash.

We played "get-to-know-you" games and those are usually so awkward but I enjoyed them, thankfully. The second year class was super cool and they made it fun for all of us noobs.

I'm a great mix of excited and nervous after today but one thing has developed that I can rely on for the next four years, I am sure, with all that I know, that I am supposed to be a doctor and that I am supposed to be here in Kirksville to learn to be one. Type at ya soon, folks!